Has Interest in the Sport of MMA “Hit the Wall?” (Satire)

We can’t go anywhere nowadays it would seem, without having to patiently endure the constant interruption of media as it mercilessly bombards our senses. Our generations (X, Y, and Z) have unfortunately grown accustomed to such intrusions and technological influences on society.

“The media has conditioned us to tolerate visually entertaining material measured out in spoonfuls of time, to the detriment of rational public discourse and reasoned public affairs.”

The point is that we now live in an age where we have become so completely overwhelmed by information and news that we have allowed it to completely consume our lives, despite the fact that the majority of the news that we seem to get so involved and passionate about really does not have an impact on our own everyday lives.

We hear about it.

We discuss it.

We discard of it.

REPEAT CYCLE

It does not take much for “new” news to become “old” news in this day and age.

Brock Lesnar, for example, is returning to the UFC this summer! Awesome!

Unfortunately, the powers that be have kept fans in the dark on Lesnar’s health for so long, this is now well past its prime in my limited, technology-conditioned attention span. Tell me something new.

Lesnar bad mouthed the Canadian Health Care System? So what? The last four times that I have had to go to an emergency room in Canada have been concerning to say the least.

Free health care is great! It’s the waiting around that can kill you (literally).

However, somebody please tell Brock Lesnar that only Canadians can trash the Canadian Health Care System.

Telling me something that I already know is boring.

Randy Couture is making history with every new fight! Love it!

But who really cares?—most everyone it seems (not me) is getting totally sick of hearing about how great a guy with a losing record is. Tell me something new.

Randy Couture will be facing off against Mark Coleman in a couple weeks. Both men are UFC Hall of Famers and former champions. Their styles match up perfectly and this clash of the Titans has the makings of being a fantastic fight.

Unfortunately, it’s not the headline fight that most fans want to see so it officially falls under the category of “who gives a crap?”

Obviously, we would all sooner listen to Frank Trigg and Matt Serra bad-mouth each other. Their fight is totally meaningless but at least we can find enjoyment (and entertainment) at their expense.

Herschel Walker is set to make his MMA debut with Strikeforce this weekend!

Geez, could the guy be any nicer? Can somebody please tell this class-act that “nice” translates into “boring?”

Personally, I love controversy and disfunctionality (such as Shinya Aoki breaking his competitor’s arm and then demonstrating some of the worst sportsmanship ever in sports)…but wait…

We’ve heard about that—so I guess that means I’m automatically bored of it already.

I suppose that we could always look outside of MMA to feed our insatiable cravings for hype and conflict.

Did you know that Tiger Woods is in sex rehab?

Did you know that Mark McGuire admitted to using steroids??

Did you know that Michael Vick signed with the Philadelphia Eagles???

You would think that with big names and big topics, we would all stay interested for months and years on end, but by the time the media hammers the crap out of essentially nothing, we get so sick of hearing about it, that we quickly file it away in the back of our minds under “G” for garbage (or “U” for useless).

Take note professional athletes: all bad behaviour is forgotten after a little public humiliation and debate, so please do whatever you want.

Shoot yourself in the leg.

Run a dog fighting ring.

Drink and drive.

Murder your ex-wife and her new lover.

We may not forgive what you have done, but even better—we will eventually stop caring.

Has it ever occurred to anyone else that the only ones who seem to really care about MMA, when it’s not highlighting the news reel with image-damaging headlines, are the hardcore and loyal fans?

Mainstream audiences just don’t care.

How surprised would you be if I told you that during a conversation this past weekend with a person that I know who has watched the UFC quite a few times, he had absolutely no clue who Fedor Emelianenko was.

No joke. He’s never heard of him.

These days, we all have the attention spans of cracked-out infants with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).

Fedor is the undefeated king of the heavyweights—yet, most people still don’t even know who he is.

Solution: I am recommending that Fedor robs a liquor store and shoots a security guard in the neck during his escape. Follow it up with a little car chase—maybe pull a “Harold Howard” and smash his car through the front windows of a Moscow Casino?

Certainly then, mainstream would take notice.

Our attention spans are good for all of about a day and then it’s time to move on to the next bit of useless information.

As fans, we are media hungry, but without controversy and debate, we become bored far too easily.

That’s not a good thing.

Please pass the crack pipe—I think I can feel my ADD kicking in.

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These are my opinions. If you don’t like them…I have others. Check them out at www.mrjamesryan.com